And laughing. Anyone skim the comment to my last post? Spam has entered the blogosphere!
Anyway, PH was wonderful and helped me clean the garage and showed me how to get my sprinklers working again on Saturday. And by help I mean did all the work and just had me decide what could be gotten rid of. I’m really lucky to have awesome friends like this.
I vegged out yesterday, but last night I finally felt well enough to recommit to taking care of myself and my physical needs. I’m going to spend today cleaning the house, sign up for another cuddle party, and then get some exercise in on the gazelle that I got from the princess and her prince. And watch a movie while I do so.
It feels good to have motivation again. I was really afraid that it might not come back.
And I was probably in too big of a rush to start trying to look into moving, although making the decision did help by giving me a purpose and sense of control. But now I think I can relax and explore my options with less urgency. Take some trips to see the places I’m considering to find the one that feels right for me and see more of this country while I’m at it.
And I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I’ll probably be on antidepressants the rest of my life. I proved to myself that I could be ok without them, but now I’ve also seen how hard it can be to maintain that during stressful times. Maybe when I retire someday I’ll experiment again with managing my brain chemistry without drugs, but for now it’s not worth the risk of falling into the sinkhole of depression.
Life is finally good again. I love me, my kitties, my friends and my family. And I’m going to be ok.
