Most of my blogging energy has been used for emailing friends, so here are some snippets:
Jan 31:
My dream was that I was a kid, and had a brother. And we were recently orphaned and stood to inherit TONS of money. And our aunt we’d never met was supposed to come get us to take custody. Only everyone was pretending to be our aunt (even guys!) to get our money, so we had to run away cause they all ended up fighting over us. The fighting even started to involve ninjas….
Feb 1:
At home trying not to have a panic attack. 
Feeling better after biking in listening to my song.
I’m fine, I’m just a tad worried over the lawyer meeting. I found out the deed in lieu of foreclosure is a voluntary thing, so the mortgage company doesn’t have to agree to it. :/ I wish he’d had something available sooner. I just need to not think about any of it till then.
I’m sorta maybe a little, more spiritual than religious. About all I do is go to the Christmas eve service with mom, and I do the bow my head thing when they want to pray before eating. And I enjoy the stories, and christmas carols. But church is boring as heck, I don’t want to be lectured at. And I think the basis of all religions is pretty much the whole “Love & care for yourself. Treat others as you would be treated (which is how you treat yourself).” thing basically. So the golden rule is my religion. 
I’m fine with people being religious and all, but pushing it on others is way uncool, since it usually involves breaking their own dang rule. They don’t want to be converted, so how dare they try to convert others? Sheesh.
Yeah, growing up with it was nice, sunday school was cool, but I’m so not going to church just so my kid can enjoy that someday. Maybe I’ll drop them off and go have brunch, or read a book in the lobby…. hehehe.
Is it Friday yet? God. I can’t get any work done just trying to keep my brain distracted.
I want to go fetal and sleep, or go kick the shit out of something.
Feb 2:
I’ll take being warm and wearing something clean over being cold or wearing something dirty.
I want to go home, light some candles and take a long hot bath.
Feb 5:
Tea is good. I like tea.
I just registered a new web site name and I’m going to start trying to sell my arts and crafts stuff and really start making more stuff to try to sell on cafepress and all. The extra money really couldn’t hurt. And I finally made enough on cafepress to get a check, so that covers the cost of the site registration.
I have the sewing machine already. I already fixed up some of my and my pirate’s clothes, and the rest of mine I need the right color thread for. I also have a bunch of stuff that I made years ago (and some years and years and years – like a set of teddy bears) that I’m going to try to sell since funky looking stuffed animals are in now. And then just random stuff like stickers and buttons, magnets, cards, whatever.
You know what else I like about Safeway.com? I can toss a ton of stuff in my cart, then go through and remove things to bring it back under my budget, like reducing the number of things and removing stuff that isn’t as healthy. I make better choices shopping online than I do when I’m tempted in the store.
Lists just don’t work for me, I get what’s on them… and quite a bit more. Plus remembering to write them or bring them… I love the history function the safeway.com site has, I just edit that to keep things I like and remove stuff I tried and didn’t like and shop from that first.
Feb 6:
I decided to squeeze in my wall pushups. I should do my crunches or ab exercise too, my sciatic thing is starting to act up.
Ugh, I forgot I had a haircut for Saturday and I’ll be in Santa Rosa. I had to reschedule for March 24th, but they’re putting me on the cancellation list too so hopefully I don’t have to wait that long.
I have to leave in about 30 minutes to bike home and grab my car and drive to Natomas. I just finished printing directions. Oooh, and almost forgot to print them for BJ’s to get my brownie after!
And I don’t know how long the appointment will be. Could be 15 minutes, could be an hour, I doubt more than that…. so I’ll be done by abou 4ish and then wander Fry’s. (To look for headphones and maybe an external drive – found the drive, not the headphones.)
You know, I’ve never actually seen that movie. (When Harry Met Sally)
Feb 7:
My poor tamogatchi had a baby too young and died. 
But the tamogatchi angel was really cute! 
Then the battery died, so I need to get a new battery.
So I didn’t manage to go to sleep till 11:45, but that was cause I stayed up till 11 and got all tired and cranky, and then had a mini argument with my pirate, but then we worked it out and I actually felt better, but by then it was almost 11:30 and I still had to get ready for bed. Thankfully I slept well and woke up on time. And it didn’t do more than sprinkle on me on the bike ride in so I didn’t have to wear more than my normal jacket. But somehow I blinked any eyelash or eyebrow hair into my eye and under my contact. It was soooo painful! Thankfully I had a mirror in my purse or I’d have had to turn around and go home to fix it. I forgot to bring my flowers in, but my pirate is going to drop them off for me so I can enjoy them.
Like I remember details like that. If I don’t see it in writing, it’s out of my head 2 minutes later. One of the reasons I prefer email/im.
And my laptop might have just died. Argh.
The ballroom dance class I’m taking. We’re doing foxtrot and east coast swing right now.
At least I have a protection plan on my computer. Meow is going to drop it off for me at the repair place for me Friday night or Monday morning since they’re closed weekends. Hopefully the data recovery works and doesn’t go over the $180 they quoted me on the phone. God. I get one thing sorta worked out (mom is gonna help with $1000 a month so money will be tight, but at least not negative anymore) and then my computer explodes before I can back it up and after I’ve spent all this time organizing it and cleaning it up.
I dunno, it decided to die as I was in the process of backing it up in case it ever dies.
Talk about shitty timing huh? I was getting so much work done today too. I’m in “do not freak out mode” now though, so I’m not gonna get much more done. I have dance class tonight, then I’m gonna go home and stomp the giant bubble wrap I have some and go through some boxes till it’s time to sleep to keep myself busy.
Wandered over to Meow’s to vent some and get a hug, wandered upstairs and grabbed my pirate and made them both walk me back, and been sitting here playing a flash game brain dead trying to get un-frustrated. Plus long talk/debate with my pirate.
Feb 8:
I’m thinking I (or we if my pirate comes too) will drive out Friday night, so then I don’t have to worry about getting up early and having a long drive. What time and where should we meet up on Saturday to hit the beach?
I’ll bring some of my board games and stuff so we can get together for lunch and hang out for a while if going to the beach doesn’t pan out.
Naw, that‘s what I thought of on the way home, a metaphor for how to deal with me. When I’m wired you may get more energy than you expect, but I’ll need more recovery time. When I’m stressed, you might not get as much as you expect, and if I’m REALLY stressed you might get a totally unexpected reaction is basically what I’m saying with that.
That kind of thing can drive me nuts too. Like the sound some flourescent lights make that most people can’t even hear.
Best thing about my new office is that it’s quiet, nice thick walls and heavy doors and no window. I’m planning to shut that door when they start on the construction.
They still have to build phase 2 – Meow & JP’s offices, our official entryway, redo the counter & sink.
The one here is the old one (they turned a big old area into smaller offices), an ancient style one like you’d have in a chem lab so it’s nasty.
one of those solid black ones where the sink is of the same stuff and it’s just a big square. That’s what they had in our chem labs in high school and junior college.
I was actually just out to a late lunch with MM, he was in town for his haircut.
As MM reminded me, when I’m stressed, it’s best not to make me think. Most questions will be answered with “I don’t know” or “I don’t care.” and it’s also usually better to be quiet or talk about something simple/unimportant that I can ignore if comprehension is too difficult.
I figure having it for reference is good too. Plus if I write it down, I don’t have to think the same thoughts over and over so I don’t forget what I want to say.
Yeah, taking antidepressants or whatever isn’t really any different than taking pain meds for MS or whatever. It’s a messed up chemical reaction in the body, it just happens to have mental side effects rather than physcial.
Eh, I can’t do the drink and party and eat thing either unless I want to burn myself out. Just not built to handle that kind of physical strain. But yeah, things could definitely be way worse than they are.
Feb 9:
Pretty cool papa! I hope it’s not raining tomorrow so I can go fly kites with my cousins. I’m gonna show Aaron this link too.
I wasn’t sure I was going to make it in at all today, I’m so going to need to veg out by Sunday. And get some chores done.
Khalua has been getting hyper lately too.
Feb 12:
Friday night we ended up leaving around 9:30 so we got to S.R. at 11. Said hi to the family and pretty much went to sleep.
Got up in the morning and called my cousin, and we decided not to do the kite thing in the rain so we made lunch plans. They had rented Lemony Snicket’s Series of Unfortunate Events which I wanted to see, so we watched that (I liked it, now I want to read the books). And then I finally baked those cupcakes. They were actually really good, and I normally don’t like chocolate cake.
We had lunch at Coco’s (I loooooove their chicken tortilla soup) and then went to my mom’s store to show my pirate around. He even ended up finding something he wanted to buy. We went home and played Munchkin and then went to the spaghetti dinner talent show/fundraiser. Most of it was actually really enjoyable. Yesterday we mostly hung around the house, my pirate playing FF12 and me doing chores. We did dress up nice and walk to seasons for an early valentine’s dinner though. It was really good.
We’d kinda continued arguing Friday & Saturday during the drive, but I finally got him to say what he actually wanted and listen to what I’ve been saying for a while now and understand. So he’s gonna buy me a membership at the ARC and we’re gonna go work out after work together on nights I don’t have dance. It was actually a good thing, I’ve never really argued with a boyfriend before, either because they wouldn’t communicate, or I’d just give in. Compromise is a good thing.
we’re just gonna bike over after work and then I can bike home from there. Not really any different than when I have dance class.
Oh, and my letter got replied to from Rob (Rob, Arnie & Dawn)
http://sweetpeastudio.biz/wordpress/2007/02/12/pdas/
I’m having the egg, cheese & salsa in a wheat pita I just made myself, it turned out pretty good! And easy to do.
(Biking in the rain =) And then I get home and take a hot shower and curl up in bed.
Yeah, I grew up being the peace maker and always trying to avoid it though, and avoid getting yelled at by my dad. So it’s taken a long time to learn to demand respect for myself & my wants. This is really the first experience with real relationship conflict I’ve had since I used to end up with guys who couldn’t communicate.
Besides, I’d much rather he have flaws than to think he was perfect and just have him be hiding his flaws or insecurities like some have done. I can’t deal with or accept what I don’t know about.
even hearing someone yelling at someone else makes me cringe still. I hate raised voices.
just me being really stressed and little things that I normally wouldn’t notice or even enjoy just got on my nerves.
I cannot wait till next weekend. One day to go crazy on house cleaning. One day to veg out and read in bed with the kitties, and another day to still do stuff!
I’m actually even feeling good about it though, cause even though I’m stressed I’m not nearly as moody/depressed as I would have been back when I was in Sac, and I’m not sleeping in reaction nearly as much – I miss maybe 2 hours at most on a bad day rather than having to take a day off. I’m even doing ok with eating since I’m being more careful to keep the foods that I tend to binge on when stressed out of my house. Like I looooove white bread, but I just can’t have it in the house or I’ll have half a loaf on a bad night. So I got wheat bread for when I’m really having an honest bread craving.
I only managed to get the den worked on and a load of laundry this weekend since Friday & Saturday were pretty much shot with the trip to SR.
I’m thinking it might be fun to try some raquetball too. And I do want to at least work on my upper body strength and my abs to support my back better so it doesn’t bother me as much. It’s not bad enough to go back to PT, but it still flares up more often than I like.
Feb 13:
tired since I’ve started taking my inhaler so I can actually push myself when biking. It’s gotten to the point where my asthma kicks in before my legs get tired. I need to remember to use my inhaler earlier though so it really has time to start working. And to install my water bottle holder on my bike. Breathing hard in the cold air makes the back of my throat hurt.
I got home around 9:15 I think and then started cooking dinner for us and got his laundry going. So I didn’t really have time for any other chores before I got ready for bed at 10:30.
Yeah, though for me, if I get things out in writing, they’re out of my head, so then I can focus on the positive stuff. That’s one of the things I love about blogging is that it gets shit out of my head. Like the stuff I know is annoying me only because I’m stressed I don’t even bother mentioning cause I know it’s just me being fussy.
I’m thinking of drafting Meow this weekend to get the new curtains up for the sliding glass door and to install the stuff on the den ceiling I want. He’s fun to hang out and bicker with. Great way to reduce stress.
I still haven’t found my damn hair stuff, but I’ve only got a few more boxes to go through. I need to grab more empty paper boxes from work so I can unpack from one box into another the stuff I’m don’t have a place for yet.
I hate feeling like a 15 year old asking for an advance on my allowance.
I’m not putting anything in my ROTH… I’ve had it since I was…. 20? And it has less than 2k in it cause I haven’t been able to contribute.
Yeah, I started when I was 18, but I got fucking screwed by an ass of a broker so basically I lost most of what I saved in fees. And then once I was in college I wasn’t going to make my parents pay for my retirement, paying for school was enough. And then I bought the house and have been broke ever since. God. I hate that house.
I haven’t used him for ages, I’m actually switching to Fidelity since that’s what campus uses too. Once I can fricking put the minimum required into my IRA that is.
I hate taxes:
Taxes Total
$598.36
I still need to get my car smogged and registered before the end of next month. Plus start getting my tax stuff together. I don’t even want to think about it.
I think it’s chocolate o’clock.
Yeah, I try to brush them and sweep but they’re little shed monsters. I want a roomba someday that I can set to just vacuum every day when I leave.
I’m determined to find a place for everything or get rid of it. No more piles of boxes tucked away like I used to have. Still need to buy more shelves from IKEA… once the house sells. I really am starting to hate that. So many things to do… “once the house sells.” Argh!
I actually want to be able to use the den though, so I’ve been unpacking and repacking & restacking things (to find my hair stuff and reclaim some space in there). It’s getting pretty close, I just have some stuff to toss in the shed too and then I think I’m probably gonna get rid of the glider that J&SP gave me, it’s too big and I don’t use it enough even though I do like it. I’ve been shifting stuff to more of those clear rolling storage bins too, I love those.
I’d go nuts having to work in a cubicle. I’m sooooooo glad the rest of my unit is as fussy as me so we didn’t get stuck in cubicles here. Our unit boss insisted that if they were going to move us out of our window offices they had to build us real offices and not cubicles.
I call it marshmallow pose cause Khalua does it the most and tucks under her feet and just looks like a giant marshmallow with a kitty head.
Feb 14:
Ugh, it’s so hard to think with a headache. I used to function through them fine, but that’s when I had them daily for years. Now I’m out of practice and the pain is distracting.
I fricking wake up in plenty of time feeling well rested…. then bam, black hole in the right side of my head.
It still aches, but it feels half numb now too so it isn’t quite as bad. I think I need to take my stronger muscle relaxer/antidepressant on nights I work out. I think the sore muscles had me clenching my teeth in my sleep which always gives me a headache.
Feb 15:
I hate seeing cute shoes and then all they have is size six.
That’s why I love cowboy boots, they fit perfectly and feel so comfy. I want to get some mules and shoe boots custom made when I can afford it.
My headache went away enough to get to sleep finally, but it’s back in full force today. I’m gonna need the chocolate and relaxing tonight. Gotta drive to Sac and finish up the paperwork for my will and stuff, and then go get my ears pierced, and then to the mall for Godiva’s 50% off sale and then back to Davis. Whew!
I’m afraid the sore muscles from working out are what’s making me tense and giving me this headache. I hope not though, that would suck. I’m gonna use my massage pad thing today and see if that helps.
Putting Tea to the Test
The relaxing effect of black tea is now backed by scientific evidence. A double-blind placebo-controlled study from University College London shows that people who drink a few cups of black tea daily experience a drop to normal levels of the stress hormone cortisol sooner after stressful situations. So drink up and put your feet up.
From: http://www.psychologytoday.com/rss/pto-20070116-000003.html
I need to get more of the ginger peach black tea I like.
http://www.republicoftea.com/templates/detail.asp?navID=267
Ooh, they have it in bulk too.
I can’t stand those crap vibrating massage things. They make me itch.
Women who spend a lot of time together tend to synchronize. So imagine back in the day when all the women lived & worked in villages together… and one week a month every guy in town had to put up with ALL the women in town being pmsy at the same time. I bet that’s what inspired some people to decide women were unclean during that time… it was just an excuse to avoid them till they were done pmsing.
Now I’m getting the phone run around trying to get insurance to pay for that HPV vaccine. They denied it since their cutoff date is 26. As if one fricking year matters. I thought about paying for it myself, but it’s $300 for a 3 shot series… I don’t think so! But really, why would you deny anyone a vaccine against something that can cause cancer? Cancer costs a heck of a lot more to deal with.
Make gingerbread men that look like them, then bite the heads off.
Me too. (I hate gingerbread.) I just make sugar cookies instead. I even have a recipe for a sugar cookie house. It was really good. It actually got demolished and eaten rather than having to be tossed.
I hate choc frosting, too rich and makes me sick. That’s why I won’t usually eat chocolate cake. After making these cupcakes I’m realizing the frosting was the problem.
Yuck, I can’t drink oj anymore, made me sick too many times when I had stomach problems, too acidy. I got the vanilla almond special K to try and it is sooooo good. I love cereal, but I tend to eat it too much and then get sick of it. But I’m finding more kinds I like that I can rotate through.
On the plus side, with my head hurting like this I bet I won’t mind the ear piercing at all.
mind numbing code fixing copy & pasting…. ugh!
My head still hurts and now my eyes are going unfocused doing all this copy/pasting.
I mostly went with this guy cause he’s close and had a web site. So I’m biased.
http://www.spitzerlaw.com/
It was good, we had lunch together and then just hung out talking and relaxing that night. We had dinner at Seasons on Sunday to celebrate.
I’m sooooooooooooo glad you mentioned the contact thing. That and I had my ting tang sitting out and decided to try it and it felt soooooo good. It has batteries so it can vibrate and it made my head all nice and numb so I could fall asleep easily. (Contacts for 2+ weeks = perma headache.)
Yeah, that’s important, you can mesh is a ton of other ways, but if your goals don’t, that’s a pretty huge stumbling block.
Feb 16:
I’m so not in the mood for a meeting today. I want to sit on my yoga mat and stretch. My lower back is bugging me.
I guess I didn’t do the FMLA stuff right since I didn’t renew it immediately on the first of the year so I had to reapply and fill out more paperwork. Ugh.
Yeah, it’s annoying, but I haven’t missed so much time that it’ll really matter. It’s all taken out of sick leave anyway. I just want to be covered by FMLA to be on the safe side.
Ugh, this is so me:
Compulsive skin picking, to the point of self-mutilation (neurotic excoriations), may be a form of body dysmorphic disorder. You no doubt already know that picking at pimples can lead to inflammation and scarring, and you need to learn how to control this behavior. Please talk to your parents and ask them to find you a therapist. You also can contact the Obsessive-Compulsive Foundation ( ocfoundation.org)
Guess I have something to talk about with my therapist next week.
Yeah, it’s something I picked up from watching my mom when I was younger picking at her arms, but when I’m stressed I tend to do it compulsively. I try to kick the habit but it’s really hard. I have to wear long sleeves so I don’t feel any bumps on my arms and start messing with them. I just always thought of it as a “bad stress habit” till I read that just now. :/
Yeah, getting the cats has been huge for me I think. I’ve never liked sleeping alone, even when I was a little kid, but having the cats has taught me that I don’t need another person to sleep with, they’re plenty. And often they’re easier to sleep with!
Yeah, part of that was I sat down and did the math and I should have had enough for the hard drive and stuff, but then I had a couple bills that I thought had already cleared, plus some automatic payments that came in higher than usual and then having to cancel the one card and it just all got messed up. I wanted the hard drive so that I could make space on my laptop and do more product design to try to make money on the side to help out with things. And the earphones I wanted because listening to music on the bike ride really helps me de-stress. And maybe part of it is manic, but it’s more that if I restrain myself too much, I’m afraid I’d break and really do something stupid financially. It’s a lot like being careful about food. I’d rather have a really good brownie sundae every once in a while, than go back to eating as much candy as I used to on a daily basis. Sure I didn’t gain weight back then, but my nutrition was pretty much non-existent.
Yeah, good point. I’ve been wanting to have another game day at my place, but I keep having things come up on the weekend. I’m really looking forward to hanging out with Meow tomorrow.
Part of it is also that I’m pretty forgetful too and I appreciate being reminded of stuff, and it’s that whole do unto others thing… I want to be reminded, so I try to do the same for others and be helpful. But instead of being appreciated, or even just being told that I didn’t need to, I was just ignored or made to feel like I was nagging even when they asked me to remind them. So it’s kinda a respect and communication thing. He asks me to remind him of something – I do so – he thanks me and does whatever it was – I feel useful and appreciated. And vice versa, he does the same for me.
It’s the whole give and take thing. In so many past relationships, it was one or the other give give giving and it was all unbalanced.
Part of that is the cats taking naps in the sink when I’m not home. Khalua is crazy.
The main reason I’m growing my hair out is that I’ve finally gotten bored with it (god, I never thought that would happen). And I’ve been wanting to repierce my ears for like 2-3 years and just been too nervous about it hurting. So wanting to pretty myself up for him might have been the kick in the butt I needed, but only to do something I wanted anyway. And I like makeup (why else would I have so much?) but I’ve never had anyone show me a fast easy way to put it on that I liked how it looked till you did.
being over here when Meow is still back at the old office sucks. I used to get to see him every day. Maybe I’ll start walking over to eat my lunch there and pester him.
Even when I was doing really well though I didn’t have much energy to hang out with a ton of people, that’s why I liked game days, I could see everyone once a month, and the rest of the time just email or im or occasionally hang out.
At least learning to control the negative emotions seems to be helping with controlling the positive but excessive ones too.
I’m practicing cooking more and testing recipes
I’m thinking stretching and ab workout on my ball at home. This back thing is annoying. I finally found a comfy way to sit though… though I think my leg is gonna fall asleep soon. 2 hours to go for me. I need to do my time sheet for 30 minutes this morning.
I never remember my dreams unless I sleep badly.
Feb 20:
From my agent:
“I have a prospective buyer for Quasar whom I believe will be writing an offer tonight or tomorrow, with the help of their agent. I don’t have details yet, but will let you know as soon as I have anything to report!”
Yeah, though I’m having to get my hard drive sent to Drive Savers to save my data. Ugh. Oh well, at least I had the good news first!
Just got an email from one of my exes. He’s supposed to come by and pick up some of his stuff today or tomorrow.
I see my therapist at lunch time ish today, so I get to dump the control thing and financial thing and skin picking on her.
I found it a couple weeks ago and it’s been sitting in my office waiting for him to pick it up. I still haven’t found the dang taffy and I’m down to only a few boxes left to go through. I didn’t get any more unpacking done this weekend, just some major reorganizing in the den. I can finally get at and use my massage chair at home now.
She (my therapist) called to reschedule to Thursday though, so I guess that’s gotta wait. I really need to change my cell message to tell people to leave messages on my work phone or home phone for me.
She said she left two messages on my phone, but I think the battery is dead again. People assume that the cell is the best way to get ahold of someone, but it’s the worst way for me.
Oh yeah, we worked out for a tiny bit on Monday after signing up and giving me a tour of the place. And we worked out Tuesday for an hour. I need real gym shoes at some point. I don’t know if I still have the one pair I used to have ages ago buried somewhere or not.
Naw, just some plain tennis shoes or whatever they’re called. No support. And I haven’t worn my workout shoes in YEARS, so I may have gotten rid of them.
I was up on time, just moving hella slow cause I was tired from doing laundry till 11:45 so I didn’t get to sleep till midnight.
“Leet” speak drives me nuts – even in IM or email. Makes people sound like 13 year olds.
“How r u?”
*shudder*
Use your words people!
Yeah, an official one (offer on the house), working on the counter offer today. 
Well, they offered $175k, which I’d be happy with, but I can’t pay my half of the closing costs, so I think we’re going to counter with $180k and everything being paid for by the escrow.
The houses are supposed to sell for $225 according to the appraised value. But that investor jerk dumped 8 on the market for $169k and screwed the values for everyone else – so everyone started dropping them to the $180-200 range. I was going to hold out for enough to pay off all my debt, but after the financial hell of the last few months I just want the dang thing sold. $165k covers the mortgages, so the rest can go toward closing costs & escrow. Any profit is pure gravy at this point.
I’m slacking off and researching dishwashers cause I know I need to get one once I can afford to. I hate handwashing stuff. I’m thinking about one of the smaller 18″ ones instead of the standard 24″ ones though. Then I can run smaller loads more often rather than running it half empty or waiting for it to fill up. Leaves more room in the kitchen too for when I remodel someday.
Cool, someone has already replied to my posting for the glider for $20.
It really depends too and the stress relief amount which is very relative. Like I’d love to get a roomba, which is around $200, but that’s not enough stress relief to get before I’m debt free. A dishwasher is not enough stress relief to get now, but it is enough once I’m not so strapped when the house sells. There is no hard math I can do, I just have to think about it and decide. I usually think about it for 2-3 weeks and do my research before I make a decision.
See, I grew up with vacation meaning you stayed home from work, or maybe went to visit family. So I’m not used to working that into my budget since usually travel = car & room & board are free with family. That is something I’d like to change at some point, but it’s definitely not a need for me.
I’ve been in debt before due to having to put stuff on cards to get through college and got it all paid off. Then had to put the new roof on cards at the house in Sac since it wasn’t supposed to be due for another 2 years. So instead of saving up for it I got to pay it off. Got that all paid off. Then did this move here and it shot up having to live off my cards till just last month when mom got a renter back and was able to help for the full $1000 I needed to pay the bills.
I also am working on removing the major stressors from my life as well. Why deal with stress that you don’t have to? Getting rid of the house will be HUGE! Then I can just work on paying off the cards, but I’ve done that before and that’s not something that really tears me up. It sucks and I’ll be glad to get rid of it, but if it takes a year or three I’ll survive.
Feb 22:
Thankfully it stopped raining so the ride in was fine.
Yeah, I like getting in my 30 minutes of biking every day. Though I need to work in 30 minutes of DDR or something on weekends when I’m not biking to work.
Based on the CDC formula, your BMI is 23.4. Here’s what it means:
18.5-24.9 = Normal
the girl is supposed to come get the glider on Saturday.
I’m trying to stretch the godiva as far as I can and have no more than one a day.
I did just drop phone down to $5.70 a month. I don’t use it enough to worry about it being metered. First $3 free, then $.03 the first minute and $.01 for additional minutes. I think my base fee for the other one was $10-15. So I can go over by $5-10 dollars and still have the bill be the same or cheaper.
I wish I had part of my job that I could do standing up, I think it would help with my back stuff.
I have my therapist appointment at 1:30. I just finished the paperwork to try to get some of my union fees returned at the end of this year. I should have done it last year. I’m really hoping I can switch to being a programmer when they do evaluations next summer and get out of the darn union. That’s $30-40 a month right there.
Oh yeah, girl coming for it (the glider) this weekend. And if she flakes there are three more people who want it.
Therapy was good, thanks for the tip on the controlling thing, definitely gave me stuff to work on with her for a while. Got another book I need to find too.
Plus I faxed in the counter offer for my place.
This book:
http://www.amazon.com/Dance-Anger-Changing-Patterns-Relationships/dp/006074104X/sr=8-1/qid=1172191007/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-3597984-6572831?ie=UTF8&s=books
We didn’t have time to get into stuff deeply, but we talked about all the different aspects of my life that it’s affected and how it’s done so. So reading that book was her first suggestion, and next time we’ll get into it more. She said being aware helps – like realizing the difference between “Will you do this please?” and “Do this please?” – On is a request, one is a command, even if said in a questioning tone of voice.
See, part of that is I spent so long ignoring what I wanted for what others wanted. So now I’m more careful about stating what I want and don’t want. I’m perfectly happy to negotiate if needed, but people can’t expect me to read their minds and know what they want.
Yeah, I definitely don’t mean to come across as controlling. I know I get annoyed when people can’t make decisions sometimes and I’ll try to step in, which I probably shouldn’t do. (But god is it annoying when people spend forever trying to figure out what to do or eat or whatever.) Then again, there are times when I can’t decide on stuff and wish someone would just decide for me, which might be why I tend to try to be “too helpful” (and end up coming across as controlling).
Yeah, now that I’m aware of it I can be more careful. I mean it jokingly, but when people don’t take it that way it makes me sound bad which I don’t want.
Feb 23:
Ergonomics are gooooood. I think I need to put more air in my ball again.
Actually, flipping it over worked nicely.
Oh, I need to do my HCRA receipt thing again too, sooner I turn it in, sooner I get my money back.
I just heard back… they can’t recover my data. So no charge, but no data. God. I want to cry.
Sorta, some of it, all over the place. But not really any of the new stuff. As in I have to redownload all my own photos from Flickr & Cafepress, and don’t have the originals anymore and all the time I spent organizing stuff is down the drain.
Feb 26:
Nope, went home, was smart enough to not drive to Sac for my external drive, curled up in bed with a few pieces of chocolate, Nora Roberts & kitties.
I actually managed to relax and get over the loss of my data and stuff pretty much this weekend. Got some stuff done too, including getting the tree put away with my pirate’s help.
Actually got in on time today! Yay!
I get their catalog since I get my litter from them now (damn you Petco for not carrying my brand anymore!) and saw these:
http://www.drsfostersmith.com/Product/NavResults.cfm?N=0&Np=1&Ntt=stroller&Ntx=mode+matchallpartial&Ntk=All&Nty=1&pc=1
Oh, and I guess MM’s roomie got this or something similar for their cat:
http://www.drsfostersmith.com/product/prod_display.cfm?pcatid=16101&Ntt=laser&Ntk=All&Ntx=mode+matchallpartial&Np=1&pc=1&N=0&Nty=1
He said the cat went crazy chasing it. Wonder if it would work for Khalua…
Feb 27:
Stayed up a tad late helping my pirate take pictures for his Pixar interview today and getting them off his laptop which is slowly dying. Slept hard though so that was good. Ended up being about 10 minutes late, but that’s no biggie. I need to call Dr. C and see about getting on one of the asthma pills instead of the inhaler. I kicked the tub faucet yesterday morning and sliced open my heel so I had to wear my mules today.
But actually I’m feeling pretty good today other than being annoyed that campus mail has had my headphones for 12 days and seems to have lost them.
Stupid Amazon sent them via USPS, all USPS goes to campus mail first and then gets distributed. I called campus mail though and they don’t have it, so they lost it. I called Amazon and they’re sending another one and bumped it up to 2 day delivery to be sure it went via UPS instead.
Going to the gym for an “hour” actually means I get home about 2 hours later than I do when I don’t go to the gym. And by then I only have the energy for one small chore like a load of laundry or making dinner and nothing else. On the plus side I’m getting to sleep earlier. But not getting other chores or projects done is kinda annoying.
Yeah, I usually only get UPS stuff here since that goes straight to the department. I’ve never gotten anything from Amazon through USPS before now. :/ And only stuff that is valuable enough that I don’t want to risk it on my porch. Half the time it’s stuff I’m buying for myself for work anyway like my ball chair. And I make sure not to do it at christmas time.
Even the days I’m tired and don’t want to go to work, I end up getting up and out so I don’t miss my bike ride, and once I’m in I just stay till the end of the day.
I always want a punching bag in my office when I get frustrated. I want to hit something when I get mad. Though I found stomping the giant packing bubble wrap is satisfying too.
Been printing, signing and scanning the counter counter offer stuff to mail back to my agent. They want a 45 day escrow just like I thought. Argh.
I can’t stand having my hands wet.
Feb 28:
My ten year reunion is this year sometime, so that’s gonna be interesting.
there are a bunch of folks I’d like to run into, I didn’t really start to figure out the whole friendship thing till after high school.
The only downside to earrings – they help transmit the cold to my ears even more. Though once they go numb it’s ok.
I didn’t get to sleep till 1:30 cause I didn’t get home till 12:30. Went to dinner with my pirate and his coworker friend D at Mirai, and we talked for quite a while. He and I double teamed my pirate on the not eating cheese or healthy fat. It was great. Then we went and got dollar cones though we couldn’t convince my pirate to join us. And we decided to go climbing (god do I suck! I’m going to try taping my hands next time like D suggested since it’s the skin pulling/pinching that is hurting so much I can’t hold on). I’m not sure what time we got to the gym, sometime after 9 I think? And we climbed till they closed the wall at 11, then they did climbers pull-ups and we all talked some more and then finally D dropped us off at my building and I biked home. Talk about long day. Only 45 minutes late though, and the extra 15 was because I stopped to grab all my old cds and zip disks to pull data off of.
We did get him to try a sushi roll that had cream cheese, but I had to poke out the cheese chunk to get him to eat another one cause he didn’t like the taste. Though part of me doing that was D saying it couldn’t be done without the sushi falling apart so I did it partially to prove him wrong too.
We were working on the “it’s ok to eat good fat like walnuts and avocado” angle and the “you need to take in more calories if you really want to gain weight” angle.
If I wear my beanie I totally overheat and my head gets all sweaty. I’ll take cold ears over that.
That’s why I’ve always wanted to live far from people, cause you can’t chose your neighbors, and often they suck. I so lucked out where I am now.
I’m always hot by the time I get to my office, I strip down to my tank top for the first 10-15 minutes and then slowly add layers back as I cool off.
Went to a late lunch with my pirate. Helped him finish getting his card ready and we walked over and dropped it in the mail and then had lunch at Raja’s since I haven’t been in ages. Not as good as it used to be so I don’t need to go again. Yeah, I’m actually getting some of the programmy stuff figured out and hopefully done today. Just some email form stuff.
Mar 1:
The soreness from climbing has kicked in finally today.
Finally got my replacement headphones. They’re perfect, comfy and the cords retract all the way so there is nothing for Khalua to chomp. Too bad I left my ipod at home. I thought I had it in my bike bag.
My pirate sent me this cute game:
http://mirror9.cgdc2.fizzlebot.com/?puzzleID=8
Pretty short too.
Mar 2:
Maybe, I just haven’t been getting to sleep on time, and not enough veggies or something.
I’m not even that tired, just feeling antisocial. I just want to be at home reading or watching anime with the kitties and quiet.
My body is awake, but I feel brain dead. I just want to lay around and daydream or something. Or go home and play more Katamari.
I’ve been reading magazines so I can toss them. Trying to declutter.
Google got back to me, problem with replying should be fixed now, yay!
I’m just spacey and getting moodier by the hour. I want a nap.
I want peanut m&m’s & pringles. And I get to figure out tax form crap for escrow. Joy.
I found some manga to read online that’s keeping me awake.
Mar 5:
Calling doc to see if I can try some allergy stuff I have, I wasn’t supposed to use it before with my other meds. Plus making an appointment to talk about changing asthma meds from inhaler to pill. Headache still not completely gone. Ugh.
my appointment is on Friday, but they’re supposed to call me today and let me know if it’s ok to take the Claritin D knock-off I have.
I’m already allergic to my cats. So I’m kinda in a lose/lose situation. So I’m really hoping I’m just stress sick or something instead. I’m gonna drag myself into work tomorrow probably and see if that helps any.
I didn’t know I was allergic till I got Mocha. And I’ve actually pretty much adjusted to them. I usually only get a runny nose if anything and I have my nasal spray for when that happens. I’ve already tried taking that today.
They’re laying asphalt next door and the tar smell keeps coming in off and on with the air. Ugh. Not what I need.
I’m not sure if the allergy stuff helped because it’s allergies, or if it just helped since it also treats the symptoms. I’m still all sneezy and stuff, but my headache is mostly gone and my throat isn’t as sore.
Ugh, they’re probably termites, not ants. I wonder if the service the previous owner paid for will cover dealing with it. I just need to find the paperwork and contact them.
Yeah, I thought they were ants, but looking online I think they’re actually termites. I got bug spray and have been using that, but if it’s termites I don’t think that’s good enough. Ugh.
I don’t think I’ve ever sneezed this much in one day before in my life. Ugh.
Yeah, I’ve had like no appetite yesterday and today. Plus missing my bike ride, and then not going to the gym either. Hopefully I feel up to biking and dance class tomorrow.
Things have been getting messier as I get more stressed and it’s hit the “I can’t stand it” phase so I need to do something about it.
I had to wait out in the main room till that dang tar smell in my office went away. Hopefully they’re all done.
Windex bothers me too. Most chemical cleansers do. And they were right around my window that I sat right in front of. Thank god the previous owners paid for Terminix service! I hopefully won’t have to pay for them to deal with the termites, and I can renew the service in May when it runs out since my house should be sold by then.
I went into a sneezing fit when I got home though. Ugh.
Oh, I’m finally down to 142, so I think the gym thing is definitely helping. And thank god for leftovers, otherwise I’d be having a slimfast for dinner. I managed to get a load of laundry going too.