What is the purpose of suffering?

To inform and motivate.

I am the only one I can control. I can influence others. Influence is different from control.

If someone tells me that I control them, that person is trying to give me their personal responsibility. They are denying their agency.

Until I fully accepted that I was responsible for my own suffering, I continued to suffer.

I still feel pain and every difficult emotion I did before. And I no longer suffer.

Before – my mind would be racing trying to keep track of all the things I was trying to do. I would not be focused on the present moment or my body or its needs.

Now – Every moment is a chance to check in with my needs. A chance to make a choice. A chance to be the best whatever I’m being.

I used to wander the house picking things up while I brushed my teeth. Multi-tasking. Now I practice being the best tooth carer I can be. If I’m brushing my teeth and my foot is uncomfortable, that’s a distraction. So I adjust how I’m standing. That discomfort was telling me to move. To change. And then I refocused back on the tooth brushing. Each action I took, I asked myself, is this what the best tooth carer would do?dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

And that is telling me I need to decide if I’m sleeping or getting up. I think I’ll sleep to let parts heal a bit more.

Stub