Talking with someone about setting boundaries with their mom.

I’m writing this stuff out because I need to practice boundaries as well, so thinking things like this out helps me practice.

Scripts:

“Mom, do not ask for a sleepover again. <Child> has already said no. If they changes their mind we’ll let you know. If you can’t respect our boundaries, we’ll have to leave and visit another day.”

Then if mom brings it up again – “Ok mom, we’re leaving now, see you later.”

If she asks why:

“It’s time for us to go.”

“We can discuss it later.”

“You sound <emotion/feeling>, we need to go now, let’s get in touch over the phone when we get home.”

Explaining invites argument. It’s not your fault if your parent can’t recall the boundary you set. It is your fault if you don’t hold your boundary. When they are upset is not the time to remind them. When you’re both calm getting them in writing might be helpful.

More self-care scripts (originally devised in collaboration with and for my own progeny):

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14t_WNNYpqguyGjk2Zp9UfcrMYqyqOIJhhy3GUmMqBVE/edit?usp=sharing