This started with a Bored Panda post.
How are you?
- Acceptable.
- Satisfactory.
- Good for certain definitions of good.
- Functioning.
- Functional.
- Upright and active.
- Could be worse.
- Still processing.
- I’ll let you know later.
- I don’t know, haven’t had my caffeine/coffee/tea/etc. yet.
- Too tired to talk.
- Still asleep.
- I’m not all here yet.
- I’m sleepwalking.
- Do you want the standard answer or the real answer?
- Do you really want to know?
- Imagine I used the socially acceptable response of your choice.
- Still on this side of the dirt.
- Vertical and ventilating.
- Alive and breathing.
- Still surviving.
- You don’t want to know.
- Hanging in.
- Hanging on.
- Dressed and vertical.
- Upright and taking in nutrition.
- Up and not crying.
Followed by:
- How are you?
- And you?
- Hope you’re doing well?
- Thanks for asking.
- I need to go.
- Please excuse me.
- Nice to see you, I must be off.
The classic exchange goes along the lines of:
- Person A: How are you?
- Person B: I’m good thanks, how are you?
- Person A: I’m good too thanks.
Then either move into more conversation or move along.
- Person A or B: Since you’re here, I’ve been meaning to talk about…
- Person A or B: It was nice to see you, I have to get going.
The initial exchange gives both parties a chance to feel out the other person to see if they are in a good place physically/mentally to talk or a way to signal that the relationship is valued even though they are not able to talk/connect at the time.
If we were computers it would be the handshake protocol before transferring data packets.
The purpose of asking “how are you” is context based.
- Public/community/work/school
- confirms/reinforces social constructs
- allows signaling of status (regulated/dysregulated) prior to further interaction
- therapist/doctor
- request for information
- friends/family
- can be either depending on the situation – one on one vs. group interactions, close groups vs casual groups
- confirms/reinforces social constructs
- allows signaling of status (regulated/dysregulated) prior to interaction
- request for information
- offer of support