Category Archives: EqualRights

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Circle of Trust – Verify

My spouse pointed this out to me:

Female Science TikToker Asks Viewers to Stop Tagging Hank Green (insider.com)

I have thoughts.

First, yes, it sucks that people tagged Hank Green specifically instead of SciShow in general (which has female and male presenters).

Second, I know who Hank Green is and I don’t know who Ashley Williams is. It is natural to trust a familiar face.

Third, having a PhD does not mean you know what you are talking about (I have too many friends & relatives and funny stories). It also immediately has me thinking about the Dunning-Kruger effect and also an appeal to authority.

If people are asking for Hank Green/SciShow to explain – the next step is to ask WHY.

Is this a case of trust but verify? Do people want a second opinion to verify what Ashley is saying?

If the trust thing is not the issue, is it the explanation? Do the folks on SciShow explain things differently – faster? funnier? easier to understand?

Telling people to go do their own research is like tossing the problem back in their faces. If they could, they already would have. They are asking for something, and maybe asking the wrong question, but the way to get that to stop is to figure out the right question and answer it (NVC – find the need). Most people do not have the time or energy or ability to verify every piece of information. That explains why we build a network of trust to simplify. That’s how our brains work as well.

The simplest solution is to do a collaboration together with SciShow.

YouTubers I would trust and only verify if something sounded wrong (I experienced the sensation of cognitive dissonance in regard to something they say).

Jessica of How to ADHD

Therapy in a Nutshell

SciShow

Kurzgesagt

TEDed

Those are the ones I can recall off the top of my head without checking my subscriptions.

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Language Matters

Is it a slur?

With all slurs, ask yourself: “Where is the noun?”

“Person” or another person word like “adult” or “someone” should always be the noun. The condition itself should never be the noun.

“I have ADHD.” The noun here is “I”, a person. If someone says, “Look at that <slur>”, the noun is <slur>. That’s what makes it dehumanizing. Instead of being recognized as a complex being that includes a trait, they are reduced down to nothing but the trait.

Cultural appropriation vs cultural appreciation?

Did you ask someone from that culture what their thoughts are? And by “ask” it means first do a web search to see if someone has already answered it.

Language does change and evolve as it is used in different ways. It can be a barrier or a bridge.

1. Tribe

2. Tipping Point

3. No can do

4. Guru

5. Hold down the fort

6. Ninja

7. Powwow

8. Off the reservation

9. Call a spade a spade

10. Indian Summer 

11. Nitty gritty

12. Climbing the totem pole

12 Culturally Appropriative Words and Phrases To Stop Using Today – Yoga Journal

Examples of Cultural Appropriation and How to Avoid It | YourDictionary

Preferred Terms for Select Population Groups & Communities | Gateway to Health Communication | CDC

The Diversity & Inclusion Glossary [A List of 200+ Terms] | Ongig Blog

Inclusive Language Guidelines (apa.org)

stub – extract relevant part from: single word requests – Alternative terms to “Blacklist” and “Whitelist” – English Language & Usage Stack Exchange

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Is she fine, or is she masking?

I keep meeting folks who have one kid diagnosed but other kids that aren’t. There is relatively strong evidence that it’s genetic/hereditary (Genetics of Autism Spectrum Disorders – PMC (nih.gov)) – enough that I’m not sure why folks aren’t told to automatically have all siblings evaluated.

I’m 42 and just now starting to figure out who I am and who I want to be, I spent so long masking so deeply that it’s taken over two and a half years to start to realize that I don’t need to do things I “should” to be “normal” or “fit in” – a recent example was telling my best friend that I don’t like eating at restaurants, most of them are sensory nightmares and that I would stay home and happily wait while the others went out. It’s so nice to be able to say no to things without feeling guilty or like I need to explain or give reasons.

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Eye Contact and Listening

Things folks could learn to say:

I feel _________ when you don’t make eye contact when ________________ (I’m talking to you/you’re talking to me).

Uncomfortable, disrespected, ignored, irritated, insulted, angry, annoyed

Examples:

I feel ignored when you don’t make eye contact when I’m talking to you. Can you face toward me, and if not, is there another way you can let me know you are listening?

Responses:

I can orient my body toward you without eye contact.
I’m listening when I’m looking at this fidget.
I’m listening when <insert visual or auditory cue that you are listening>

I feel disrespected when you don’t make eye contact when I’m talking to you. Can you face toward me, and if not, is there another way you can let me know you are respecting my need for your attention?

Responses:

I can orient my body toward you without eye contact.
I’m paying attention when I’m looking at this fidget <or other visual or auditory cue>
I understand that you feel disrespected, and I would like you to respect my need to avoid eye contact. How can we compromise?

I feel uncomfortable when you don’t make eye contact when I’m talking to you. Can you look at me when I’m talking?

Responses:

I can orient my body toward you without eye contact.
I understand that you feel uncomfortable , and I feel uncomfortable with eye contact. How can we compromise?

I feel irritated/insulted/angry/annoyed when you don’t make eye contact when I’m talking to you. Can you look at me when I’m talking?

Responses:

I can orient my body toward you without eye contact.
I struggle with eye contact and it would be a kindness if you can be flexible with me.
I understand that lack of eye contact is viewed negatively in our culture. I’m trying to advocate for diversity by expressing my need to avoid eye contact in order to focus and listen.
I’m sorry, I understand that currently lack of eye contact is considered rude in our culture. I’m Autistic and eye contact is challenging for me. By being open with you, I’m hoping that we can be part of the change that helps our society become more open and tolerant of differences such as neurodiversity.
I understand the struggle when our communication needs aren’t met. Will you meet my communication needs?

Being on the same level is more important than eye contact (think sitting side by side facing the same way instead of towards each other, or those conversations that happen in vehicles) – come down to their level or bring them up to yours.

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isthisableism:</p> <p>Washington Post: Grand jury rejects criminal charges in death of Robert Saylor, man with Down syndrome<br /> Robert Saylor, a 26-year-old man with Down syndrome, sat in a movie theatre after having watched a movie, acting as if he was going to sit through the movie again without buying another ticket.That prompted three police officers to kill him.Friday, a grand jury determined that no crime was committed, even though his death was ruled a homicide.</p> <p>What?

isthisableism:

Washington Post: Grand jury rejects criminal charges in death of Robert Saylor, man with Down syndrome

Robert Saylor, a 26-year-old man with Down syndrome, sat in a movie theatre after having watched a movie, acting as if he was going to sit through the movie again without buying another ticket.

That prompted three police officers to kill him.

Friday, a grand jury determined that no crime was committed, even though his death was ruled a homicide.

What?

(via shad0ww0rdpain)

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theuppitynegras:

dynastylnoire:

lisawithabee:

spacedmeanssomethingdifferentnow:

sunfell:

darkjez:

djphatrick:

A 13-Year-Old’s Slavery Analogy Raises Some Uncomfortable Truths in School

In a bold comparative analysis of TheNarrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, Jada Williams, a 13-year old eighth grader at School #3 in Rochester, New York, asserted that in her experience, today’s education system is a modern-day version of slavery. According to the Fredrick Douglass Foundation of New York, the schools’ teachers and administrators were so offended by Williams’ essay that they began a campaign of harassment—kicking her out of class and trying to suspend her—that ultimately forced her parents to withdraw her from the school.

In her essay, which was written for a contest, Williams reflected on what Douglass heard his slave master, Mr. Auld, telling his wife after catching her teaching Douglass how to read. “If you teach that nigger (speaking of myself) how to read, there will be no keeping him,” Auld says. “It will forever unfit him to be a slave. He would at once become unmanageable, and of no value to his master.”

Williams wrote that overcrowded, poorly managed classrooms prevent real learning from happening and thus produces the same results as Mr. Auld’s outright ban. She wrote that her white teachers—the vast majority of Rochester students are black and Hispanic, but very few teachers are people of color—are in a “position of power to dictate what I can, cannot, and will learn, only desiring that I may get bored because of the inconsistency and the mismanagement of the classroom.”

Read more: Education – GOOD

truth.

I’m so freaking proud of this child.

“The conservative Frederick Douglass Foundation gave Williams a special award, saying that her essay ‘actually demonstrates that she understood the autobiography.’ They have also reached out to the school for an explanation of the 13-year-old’s treatment.”

She spoke truth to power.

Good job helping make her argument more solid by kicking her out of class and forcing her parents to take her out of school.

(Source: daughtersofdig, via shad0ww0rdpain)

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axispowersshella:</p> <p>auplaz:</p> <p>Alright guys, this shit got me heated. <br /> So today as I was getting ready for school, I get a call from my youngest sister’s elementary school clinic. My sister gets on the phone and tells me she is sitting out of class because her skirt is too short. “You need to bring me one that goes down to my knees, they said,” is what she told me.<br /> Quick recap: My sister is eleven years old, in fifth grade, and has some mental and physical disabilities. She’s the tallest girl in her class. Also, the dress code states her skirt must be down to her fingertips, not her knees.<br /> When I get there, I insisted I see her instead of just dropping her stuff off. I was not suprised to find her with a skirt obviously within the rules of the dress code. I asked her what class she was missing and she told me math. She’d been sitting out for atleast twenty or thirty minutes while she waited for me to come.<br /> She only learns things at about a third of the pace as everyone else in her class. Even missing this short amount of time means missing a lot of information for her. Just to recap: she has to sit out of class because of the length of her skirt. She can’t even just sit in her classroom while she waits for me, because apparently that’s too distracting. To whom, you ask? I can’t really tell you. Are ten year old boys, fifth grade boys already old enough to be sexualizing her to the point that they were going so insane with horniness that they had to whisk her away until she could put on something ‘decent’. <br /> So not only are the sexualizing a fifth grader, they are giving her different rules for the dress code based on her height and making her miss valuable class time. This bullshit needs to stop. Eleven goddamn years old and she’s already being taught her body isn’t her own anymore, that she’s being too provocative if she wears a skirt to the same standard as all the other short, skinny girls in her class just because she looks older.<br /> As a P.S., I would like to point out that she is already bullied because of her disabilities. Pulling her out of class and making her change is even more of an embarrassment, and only leads to more teasing. </p> <p>please signal boost this.<br />

axispowersshella:

auplaz:

Alright guys, this shit got me heated.

So today as I was getting ready for school, I get a call from my youngest sister’s elementary school clinic. My sister gets on the phone and tells me she is sitting out of class because her skirt is too short. “You need to bring me one that goes down to my knees, they said,” is what she told me.

Quick recap: My sister is eleven years old, in fifth grade, and has some mental and physical disabilities. She’s the tallest girl in her class. Also, the dress code states her skirt must be down to her fingertips, not her knees.

When I get there, I insisted I see her instead of just dropping her stuff off. I was not suprised to find her with a skirt obviously within the rules of the dress code. I asked her what class she was missing and she told me math. She’d been sitting out for atleast twenty or thirty minutes while she waited for me to come.

She only learns things at about a third of the pace as everyone else in her class. Even missing this short amount of time means missing a lot of information for her. Just to recap: she has to sit out of class because of the length of her skirt. She can’t even just sit in her classroom while she waits for me, because apparently that’s too distracting. To whom, you ask? I can’t really tell you. Are ten year old boys, fifth grade boys already old enough to be sexualizing her to the point that they were going so insane with horniness that they had to whisk her away until she could put on something ‘decent’.

So not only are the sexualizing a fifth grader, they are giving her different rules for the dress code based on her height and making her miss valuable class time. This bullshit needs to stop. Eleven goddamn years old and she’s already being taught her body isn’t her own anymore, that she’s being too provocative if she wears a skirt to the same standard as all the other short, skinny girls in her class just because she looks older.

As a P.S., I would like to point out that she is already bullied because of her disabilities. Pulling her out of class and making her change is even more of an embarrassment, and only leads to more teasing.

please signal boost this.

(via shad0ww0rdpain)