Category Archives: Ablism

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Time Blindness

What Time Blindness is: Could You Be Time Blind? | Psychology Today

Ways that human society have changed that have removed the nature supports for people who are time blind:

  • Developing electricity so that we’re no longer bound by the sun or lighting methods that visibly mark time by the consumption of fuel – like fires, candles and oil lamps.
  • The development of suburbs so that not everyone lives within hearing distance of the bells on a clock tower to mark the hour both day and night.
  • The development of digital and silent analog clocks so there is no longer an auditory cue of time passing.

It’s only in very recent human history that we’ve removed the supports that someone with time blindness used to be able to rely on. I’m not surprised that we’ve only recently figured out that some people are time blind. Honestly, I’m surprised that it isn’t the majority of people, but it’s likely tied into our circadian rhythms and we didn’t “invent” time, but rather invented a way to track and coordinate it.

ADHD Scheduling & Time Sense

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Is she fine, or is she masking?

I keep meeting folks who have one kid diagnosed but other kids that aren’t. There is relatively strong evidence that it’s genetic/hereditary (Genetics of Autism Spectrum Disorders – PMC (nih.gov)) – enough that I’m not sure why folks aren’t told to automatically have all siblings evaluated.

I’m 42 and just now starting to figure out who I am and who I want to be, I spent so long masking so deeply that it’s taken over two and a half years to start to realize that I don’t need to do things I “should” to be “normal” or “fit in” – a recent example was telling my best friend that I don’t like eating at restaurants, most of them are sensory nightmares and that I would stay home and happily wait while the others went out. It’s so nice to be able to say no to things without feeling guilty or like I need to explain or give reasons.

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Eye Contact and Listening

Things folks could learn to say:

I feel _________ when you don’t make eye contact when ________________ (I’m talking to you/you’re talking to me).

Uncomfortable, disrespected, ignored, irritated, insulted, angry, annoyed

Examples:

I feel ignored when you don’t make eye contact when I’m talking to you. Can you face toward me, and if not, is there another way you can let me know you are listening?

Responses:

I can orient my body toward you without eye contact.
I’m listening when I’m looking at this fidget.
I’m listening when <insert visual or auditory cue that you are listening>

I feel disrespected when you don’t make eye contact when I’m talking to you. Can you face toward me, and if not, is there another way you can let me know you are respecting my need for your attention?

Responses:

I can orient my body toward you without eye contact.
I’m paying attention when I’m looking at this fidget <or other visual or auditory cue>
I understand that you feel disrespected, and I would like you to respect my need to avoid eye contact. How can we compromise?

I feel uncomfortable when you don’t make eye contact when I’m talking to you. Can you look at me when I’m talking?

Responses:

I can orient my body toward you without eye contact.
I understand that you feel uncomfortable , and I feel uncomfortable with eye contact. How can we compromise?

I feel irritated/insulted/angry/annoyed when you don’t make eye contact when I’m talking to you. Can you look at me when I’m talking?

Responses:

I can orient my body toward you without eye contact.
I struggle with eye contact and it would be a kindness if you can be flexible with me.
I understand that lack of eye contact is viewed negatively in our culture. I’m trying to advocate for diversity by expressing my need to avoid eye contact in order to focus and listen.
I’m sorry, I understand that currently lack of eye contact is considered rude in our culture. I’m Autistic and eye contact is challenging for me. By being open with you, I’m hoping that we can be part of the change that helps our society become more open and tolerant of differences such as neurodiversity.
I understand the struggle when our communication needs aren’t met. Will you meet my communication needs?

Being on the same level is more important than eye contact (think sitting side by side facing the same way instead of towards each other, or those conversations that happen in vehicles) – come down to their level or bring them up to yours.

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T

isthisableism:</p> <p>Washington Post: Grand jury rejects criminal charges in death of Robert Saylor, man with Down syndrome<br /> Robert Saylor, a 26-year-old man with Down syndrome, sat in a movie theatre after having watched a movie, acting as if he was going to sit through the movie again without buying another ticket.That prompted three police officers to kill him.Friday, a grand jury determined that no crime was committed, even though his death was ruled a homicide.</p> <p>What?

isthisableism:

Washington Post: Grand jury rejects criminal charges in death of Robert Saylor, man with Down syndrome

Robert Saylor, a 26-year-old man with Down syndrome, sat in a movie theatre after having watched a movie, acting as if he was going to sit through the movie again without buying another ticket.

That prompted three police officers to kill him.

Friday, a grand jury determined that no crime was committed, even though his death was ruled a homicide.

What?

(via shad0ww0rdpain)