Everything has to go on the schedule and include cushions for things to go wrong.
- Self care
- Nook – Cat/Laundry/Music
- Back bath
- Master bedroom
- Front bath
- Garden Storage
- front garden (W & S)
- back garden (N & E)
- Things to have in zones:
- Trash, Compost, Mixed Recycling, Soft plastic recycling
- first aid
- pen & paper
If I have to get up to access what I need I will lose focus.
PDA and/or ADHD (executive function problems) – It took reading a bunch of comments to realize that Autistic Inertia is probably just comorbid ADHD executive function challenges.
How to ADHD on YouTube has a lot of great videos on various ways to manage problems like this. Wall of Awful, Motivation Bridge, Procrastination, tools like SunSama, Pomodoros, Bullet Journals, body doubling (co-regulation for adults), accountability buddies
More of the same:
What is autistic inertia? https://autismawarenesscentre.com/what-is-autistic-inertia/
I’m not sure that giving things a new name is helpful. It’s executive function difficulties no matter what the “reason” is and know that means it’s easier to find solutions.
I know many people feel concerned about labels. And in some cases labels can be limiting depending on where you live and the laws. The U.S. especially is prone to these issues. And until we challenge these limits, they will remain. Avoiding the labels is a privilege (generally of wealth or power). Which means we have a responsibility to take ownership of these labels and challenge any limits attached to them on behalf of those who cannot.
Outside of the needed advocacy though, it’s a matter of perspective.
I like to use left-handedness as an example.
A person doesn’t “have” left-handedness. They are left-handed. They are a lefty.
Does that limit them? Not that I see. It does however empower them to understand themselves and ask for or set up accommodations like getting left-handed scissors or asking to sit at a corner where they won’t bump elbows with a right-handed dining partner.
So – I don’t have autism, I am autistic. I am on the spectrum. I am neurodivergent. I get that person first language is supposed to be empowering, but it turns a trait into a disease or damage. Cancer is something you can have, the flu or a cold you can have. No one says I have left-handedness.
I have ADHD means I have executive function challenges/impairments/differences. I really wonder how much of ADHD is just sleep problems?
both conditions can involve delays in language, heightened sensory responses, defiant behavior, problems with regulating emotions and difficulty with planning and with inhibiting behavior. Both also appear in childhoodDecoding the overlap between autism and ADHD | Spectrum | Autism Research News (spectrumnews.org)
ADHD alone – highly sensitive + sleep problems
Autism alone – highly sensitive + trauma or trauma epigenetics
Autism + ADHD – highly sensitive + trauma or trauma epigenetics + sleep problems
And if trauma can physically change the brain, and healing can also, then that would explain some of the struggles with finding structural causes.
So maybe I have Autism because I’m highly sensitive, had sleep problems because of tongue tie and childhood attachment trauma? I like the new umbrella term of high environmental sensitivity. And I think that neurodivergent works well as an umbrella term to just remind people that EVERYONE has a different brain and to check your assumptions that lead to conflict or challenge.
I am Autistic because I am highly environmentally sensitive and I experienced trauma. I have Autism because I am still working on healing my brain and my genes and my microbiome. I may be able to cure my Autism, but I will always be Autistic.
The other thing I like to do is the broken bone swap. It is something you can have. It is something you can heal from. Some people are able to heal quickly, some people heal slowly, and some people heal improperly, which you could also describe as some people never completely heal. That person is not defective, they have a problem. When you can see the problem, it makes it easy to be accommodating and either to know what accommodations might be needed or if you need to ask what accommodations would help.
Every mental “disorder” stems from a physical health problem. There is no such thing as “mental health” – there is only health. The sooner that becomes common knowledge, the sooner everyone can get the help they need.
Every time I write disorder, disabled and other words with dis- I get the urge to change it to diff-
Different order, different ability – because then instead of being not in order, not able, it recognizes that’s it’s a difference instead. And if that difference is a problem, then that is a problem of society/culture/community not understanding and accepting that difference.
Maybe they’ll be useful for you too:
Google Sheets budget – make a free copy – the author has ADHD and grew up financially illiterate like I did. https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/nbijxz/i_made_a_spreadsheet_for_people_who_dont_know_how/
I was in a meeting with some fellow ADHD folks on Saturday and we were discussing what a group of us would be called since using tribe could be seen as cultural appropriation and community doesn’t really roll off the tongue. Someone mentioned a Chaos of ADHDers and my immediate response was: Welcome to the Chaos! 😀
Really it’s just simple physics: E=MC^2 and the second law of thermodynamics – in a closed system Energy (E) tends towards disorder over time (entropy). Chaos.
Though really I think it could be applied for a group of people who accept and support neurodiversity, not just some specific flavor of neurospice. 😀
Hmm, so one of the challenges associated with ASD is theory of mind, which is the understanding that people have different minds (brains, neurology) and think and feel different things. But neurotypical people expect most people to follow neurotypical norms…. so isn’t that actually having worse theory of mind? Most folks who are ND recognize that we are different and that other people think differently (and are often baffled by how others think), vs. NT folks who might be better at understanding the thought process of other NT folks, but then mis-interpret ND folks, rather than recognizing a difference.
Wow, that person is rude! vs Wow, that person is uncomfortably direct, they must be ND.
Clifton StrengthsFinder – because we probably already know our weaknesses (I changed “flaws” to “weakness” because it isn’t a flaw, just a difference), and this can help us focus on our strengths.
Project intake form
How to find your strengths – know what other people struggle with that seems easy to you. Things that annoy you that other people do/don’t do might also be strengths that you don’t recognize in yourself, so instead you’re judging them based on your self expectations.
Be aware of the purpose of a process, if it loses connection to its purpose, it might stop serving a purpose. – This is a larger topic, think religion and the things learned, taught, delegation of tasks/knowledge maintenance – things science is figuring out that were known and practiced already.
Who discussed, what was decided and why? Decision log
Books: 5 dysfunctions, I don’t have wings, why can’t I fly? you can heal your life by Louise Hay, The dictionary of obscure sorrows
Decision trees, flow chart for visual of decision making – sharing thought process
ACT, Radical Acceptance – becoming aware of what the current reality is so you can move from a place of strength/knowledge
some might call it accepting your limitations
Why not say instead “accept your current limitations”
accept your current challenges/struggles
understand your current struggles
understand your current strengths and struggles
post partum anxiety
anxiety management – reassurance harms, asking ?s and support or encouragement helps
what are you anxious about? why?
avoidance increases anxiety – face your fears
notice the worry, don’t (try to) eliminate (ignore) the worry (ACT)
Focus your attention with intention
sign up for special events opt in role
learn to feel your feelings, emotional granularity linked to better emotional control/regulation
themes of community and support
you have anxiety
no, I’m just stressed
yes, that’s anxiety
Burnout is emotional exhaustion
name it to tame it – naming your emotions – acknowledging them is how you control them
maladaptive means the skill or tool was useful, but isn’t anymore
codependency – people try to fix the other person’s emotions because they are lacking the coping skills to just sit with them
moving from surviving to thriving
Year end review? No – month end review, rate days – or weekly reviews compiled monthly, yearly plan
I love me.
In my head I had to use the tune of “I just called to say” to help me write that. Breaking it up helped too. Saying I love you is easy.
Saying I love me feels weird and kinda wrong.
I feel so uncomfortable when people praise me. I’m not accustomed to it and my first thought is that I’m selfish because
I helped them to feel good.
Here’s the question I don’t want to answer. What am I not doing by helping someone else? I know that helping someone else is the easy path, so what path should I be on instead?
I think it’s following my routine and trusting the system. So for now, it’s 6am, so I need to take my ADHD meds and go back to sleep.
Thanks for listening Me.
How to ADHD motivation bridge video link goes here.