Talking with How to ADHD folks about impulsivity and not having the ability to pause, I was asked what I meant when I said:

You have to practice the pause to develop it. ​If you never do, you’ll never have it.

I use “do overs” because the first step is being able to notice when you do it. So if I say something impulsively and realize after, I come back and ask for a do over. ​So they say the same thing again, I pause, make sure I understand (repeat in my own words or ask questions) and then speak. We also use “raise hand when you have something you want to say” instead of blurting it out – so you can signal to the person you have a question or response and they can pause or wrap up sooner. And now we’re trying finger to lips or chin if we’re still talking but pausing to think, finger to ear to remember that we’re listening and to raise a hand before speaking.

You need to build/reinforce the neural pathways by practicing and roleplay is a great way to do so.

Having friends who are willing and able to hold you accountable and help you catch yourself can speed up the process. We also use code phrases like “yes dear” – which we never say except when the other person is being unreasonable and anything else is likely to upset them more.