Ideas & Reviews:
I had a friend ask for ideas, I’m generalizing here for anyone it might help.
Kiddo asks parent for proprioceptive input.
Parent either can’t or can only offer some input.
Kiddo can’t handle the refusal – they already are disregulated and needing input, so they escalate.
My suggestions came from my experience:
1 One, it’s ok to have boundaries, and the less someone respects your boundaries, the bigger the boundaries have to be.
I’ve described it like the following distance when driving – if someone in front of you or behind you is tailgaiting, you need a larger following distance. That way if the person in front crashes from tailgaiting you have time to brake. If the person behind is too close then you also need time to brake slowly so they don’t hit you like they would if you had to stop suddenly.
What this looks like is stopping your kiddo farther away and asking them to slow down and ask first. If they are too disregulated to respect the boundaries, then you know to take action to protect yourself and help them get regulated. For example my personal bubble with the kiddo is my head and my back, if he wants to go behind me he has to ask, and if he wants to touch my face he has to ask, and if he wants to give me a hug, he doesn’t have to ask unless he’s trying to come up behind me.
2 Two, if they are asking for input you can’t give, try to give them or help them get the input they need. I’ll offer “squeezies” – a big bear hug, “squishies” – squishing the kiddo between me and a counter/wall/etc. or “jumpies” – holding hands and the kiddo jumps while pushing down on my hands, similar to holding a gym bar or pushing down on a counter or table and jumping.
In this case kiddo wanted what we call “shoulder bup” – sitting on shoulders. The two alternatives I thought of was doing a piggy back and then leaning against the wall to take some of the weight off or doing the shoulder bup with leaning back so that most of the kiddo’s weight ends up on the back of the seat if available.
If those aren’t options, a headstand or handstand might help or the other types of input mentioned. Another one we like is “Timber!” where they call that and you are a tree that then falls down on them – usually sitting side by side and leaning into them.
Discussion on woodworking and needing to sand something:
the best way to do it was honestly just to run my fingers all over it and feel for burrs and rough spots. Doing so was deeply satisfyingAllowisious
I just got into woodworking because of this, I’ve been picking up little bits of wood and either using a small file, fingernail, rock, stick, whatever I have available to work on them. I figure I can make a “fidget wood” (driftwood) mobile when I have enough of them. 😀 It’s so satisfying!
I have been trying to do it outside so I don’t have to worry about dust, but now I’m thinking a mini pouch – like a drawstring bag that opens flat – to store the wood & tool in and catch the dust when working it indoors would be good. I think I recall research about touching wood vs manmade stuff that I’m going to go look for now that I’m thinking of it…..
I also like to use pet nail grinders, nail drills or a Dremel (heavier, so that’s why I like the nail ones) for when I want to work on something, but my fingers or hands are too tired.
I’m thinking I might try making some worry wood, like a worry stone, just to carry around in a pocket to rub.