First I have a question – how do YOU feel when someone gives you unsolicited advice?
- Patronized? (Mansplained)
- Condescended to?
- Annoyed or irritated?
If it’s more like the first ones and not the last two, why would someone else feel differently?
What would happen if instead you asked if they were open to you sharing ideas or your experience?
What if you respected if they weren’t ready to hear it, but at least they know you’re available if they want it?
What if you asked them what they think they need or what they want, and why they want it? Could you ask leading questions so they could figure things out on their own?
What would happen if you took your own advice first? What would it look like to be the change you want to see?
What are you missing if people aren’t listening to you? Are you not connecting first? Are you regulated? Are they?
Cassandra from Greek Mythology embodies the anguish of seeing the future and not being able to do anything about it. But it’s a misleading tale – we can do something about it, but not the thing that is easy for us – telling others.
We have to do the hard work of helping them see for themselves, or the even harder work of connecting with others so strongly that they trust us to be looking out for their best interests as well.