Home zones:
If I have to get up to access what I need I will lose focus.
If something keeps going wrong, getting missed or skipped – pause and take a look at your system. It’s a sign that something isn’t working well. Does the system have too many dependencies? Does it not have a backup or failsafe?
To take my medications properly I’ve found that I need to prep them in advance.
Since 1 month is the maximum supply for my ADHD medication, I have enough pill cases that I can set up once a month and to reduce the number of times I have to refill.
So my new bottle is my cue to refill (and my backups are the recurring calendar item & Habitica task).
I keep everything in a lockbox so I can easily access it, move it around and keep it secure. It has a combo lock so I don’t have to worry about losing a key.
I also take Vitassium by SaltStick for my pots and Midodrine for when I don’t need the Adderall.
At night I take Zoloft/Sertraline and Claritin/Lortadine.
I’ve been transferring daily and that is not working, so I now have 7 individual cases that I can transfer to once weekly on Sunday. Then the night before I can just grab my case for the next day. So I’ll take my night meds and then put the case in my waist bag that I wear all day. That will help me take my meds first thing also since I won’t have to get up to get them. And then I’ll be forced to get up to get my protein shake (or I might have to set up a cooler bedside for overnight).
Jessica’s idea of putting her stuff online so she can always find it inspired me. Writing things up for myself I’d have a hard time doing, but doing it here where it might help someone else too is that one bit more of motivation and means I can keep things together and find them.
I had a friend ask for ideas, I’m generalizing here for anyone it might help.
Kiddo asks parent for proprioceptive input.
Parent either can’t or can only offer some input.
Kiddo can’t handle the refusal – they already are disregulated and needing input, so they escalate.
My suggestions came from my experience:
1 One, it’s ok to have boundaries, and the less someone respects your boundaries, the bigger the boundaries have to be.
I’ve described it like the following distance when driving – if someone in front of you or behind you is tailgaiting, you need a larger following distance. That way if the person in front crashes from tailgaiting you have time to brake. If the person behind is too close then you also need time to brake slowly so they don’t hit you like they would if you had to stop suddenly.
What this looks like is stopping your kiddo farther away and asking them to slow down and ask first. If they are too disregulated to respect the boundaries, then you know to take action to protect yourself and help them get regulated. For example my personal bubble with the kiddo is my head and my back, if he wants to go behind me he has to ask, and if he wants to touch my face he has to ask, and if he wants to give me a hug, he doesn’t have to ask unless he’s trying to come up behind me.
2 Two, if they are asking for input you can’t give, try to give them or help them get the input they need. I’ll offer “squeezies” – a big bear hug, “squishies” – squishing the kiddo between me and a counter/wall/etc. or “jumpies” – holding hands and the kiddo jumps while pushing down on my hands, similar to holding a gym bar or pushing down on a counter or table and jumping.
In this case kiddo wanted what we call “shoulder bup” – sitting on shoulders. The two alternatives I thought of was doing a piggy back and then leaning against the wall to take some of the weight off or doing the shoulder bup with leaning back so that most of the kiddo’s weight ends up on the back of the seat if available.
If those aren’t options, a headstand or handstand might help or the other types of input mentioned. Another one we like is “Timber!” where they call that and you are a tree that then falls down on them – usually sitting side by side and leaning into them.
First I have a question – how do YOU feel when someone gives you unsolicited advice?
If it’s more like the first ones and not the last two, why would someone else feel differently?
What would happen if instead you asked if they were open to you sharing ideas or your experience?
What if you respected if they weren’t ready to hear it, but at least they know you’re available if they want it?
What if you asked them what they think they need or what they want, and why they want it? Could you ask leading questions so they could figure things out on their own?
What would happen if you took your own advice first? What would it look like to be the change you want to see?
What are you missing if people aren’t listening to you? Are you not connecting first? Are you regulated? Are they?
Cassandra from Greek Mythology embodies the anguish of seeing the future and not being able to do anything about it. But it’s a misleading tale – we can do something about it, but not the thing that is easy for us – telling others.
We have to do the hard work of helping them see for themselves, or the even harder work of connecting with others so strongly that they trust us to be looking out for their best interests as well.
Lark’s Head or Cow Hitch knot for crazy cheap cable management with any string/yarn/etc. you have: https://www.thesprucecrafts.com/basic-macrame-knots-4176636
Or a noose knot can work too:
Noose Knot | How to tie a Noose Knot using Step-by-Step Animations | Animated Knots by Grog
If the Cow Hitch knot loosens too much you can secure it with the Noose Knot (or a true Slip Knot).
Now I want to go prettify my cables with macrame…..
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