Tag Archives: psych

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Pain and The Bad Place

When I notice that I’m thinking painful and likely untrue thoughts, I think of it as my brain trying to go to or already in The Bad Place (aka: negative sentiment override, assuming the worst, being pessimistic, running a maladaptive schema, bad programming, telling yourself bad stories, feeding the bad wolf, sending out negative energy, trauma response, being triggered, starting to get flooded).

When I am in the Bad Place I can still function, but only just barely. Others see it as me being rude, inconsiderate, stupid, ridiculous, mean, unkind, self-centered, selfish, stubborn, bossy, pedantic. I’m trying to get into the habit of wearing noise cancelling headphones so I can tune out other people until I’m functional again. So far just keeping my mouth shut as much as possible if I’m in the bad place is working ok.

Headphones would help, I’d need active noise cancelling headphones: Bluetooth, comfortable.

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How to Listen, an example

LIMERENCE: To Heal from Heartache, Face Rejection (and Reality) Honestly – YouTube

This video exemplifies active listening and why we have to tell our stories. What the Crappy Childhood Fairy does is restate what she heard/understood from the letter – that’s called Active Listening.

Active listening is a form of error checking. It allows you to confirm that your communication system is functioning.

Side note: It’s way more important than Whole Body Listening, which is just a societal expectation.

If we don’t tell our stories, no one can reflect them back for us. And by sharing our stories, other people can see the problem clearly, and then if they are willing to be honest with themselves, see how it applies to them.

Also it’s hard and sucks and I hate it and I’m gonna keep doing it anyway. <insert swears here>

I guess I have cPTSD too. I had heard of it and hadn’t looked into it deeply enough to see that it applied to me too.

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It’s so hard, to say

I love me.

In my head I had to use the tune of “I just called to say” to help me write that. Breaking it up helped too. Saying I love you is easy.

Saying I love me feels weird and kinda wrong.

I feel so uncomfortable when people praise me. I’m not accustomed to it and my first thought is that I’m selfish because

I helped them to feel good.

Here’s the question I don’t want to answer. What am I not doing by helping someone else? I know that helping someone else is the easy path, so what path should I be on instead?

I think it’s following my routine and trusting the system. So for now, it’s 6am, so I need to take my ADHD meds and go back to sleep.

Thanks for listening Me.

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Boundaries

Boundary song:

boundary vs threat

A threat is something that a person is unlikely to act upon or doesn’t intend to act on and is meant to make the other person act in a certain way because they are scared. 

Boundaries, limits, and consequences are a statement of what the expected behaviors are and what the person will do in response to a boundary being broken.  

Paraphrase from: Parenting: Threats VS. Boundaries, Limits, and Consequences – MMHS (meehanmentalhealth.com)

Good explanation of boundaries:

Boundaries that Don’t Control | Validity Counselling: Between Sessions with Jenny